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Why Aren't We Shocked?

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    Why Aren't We Shocked?
    By Bob Herbert
    The New York Times

    Monday 16 October 2006

"Who needs a brain when you have these?"
- message on an Abercrombie & Fitch T-shirt for young women.

    In the recent shootings at an Amish schoolhouse in rural Pennsylvania and a large public high school in Colorado, the killers went out of their way to separate the girls from the boys, and then deliberately attacked only the girls.

    Ten girls were shot and five killed at the Amish school. One girl was killed and a number of others were molested in the Colorado attack.

    In the widespread coverage that followed these crimes, very little was made of the fact that only girls were targeted. Imagine if a gunman had gone into a school, separated the kids up on the basis of race or religion, and then shot only the black kids. Or only the white kids. Or only the Jews.

    There would have been thunderous outrage. The country would have first recoiled in horror, and then mobilized in an effort to eradicate that kind of murderous bigotry. There would have been calls for action and reflection. And the attack would have been seen for what it really was: a hate crime.

    None of that occurred because these were just girls, and we have become so accustomed to living in a society saturated with misogyny that violence against females is more or less to be expected. Stories about the rape, murder and mutilation of women and girls are staples of the news, as familiar to us as weather forecasts. The startling aspect of the Pennsylvania attack was that this terrible thing happened at a school in Amish country, not that it happened to girls.

    The disrespectful, degrading, contemptuous treatment of women is so pervasive and so mainstream that it has just about lost its ability to shock. Guys at sporting events and other public venues have shown no qualms about raising an insistent chant to nearby women to show their breasts. An ad for a major long-distance telephone carrier shows three apparently naked women holding a billing statement from a competitor. The text asks, "When was the last time you got screwed?"

    An ad for Clinique moisturizing lotion shows a woman's face with the lotion spattered across it to simulate the climactic shot of a porn video.

    We have a problem. Staggering amounts of violence are unleashed on women every day, and there is no escaping the fact that in the most sensational stories, large segments of the population are titillated by that violence. We've been watching the sexualized image of the murdered 6-year-old JonBenet Ramsey for 10 years. JonBenet is dead. Her mother is dead. And we're still watching the video of this poor child prancing in lipstick and high heels.

    What have we learned since then? That there's big money to be made from thongs, spandex tops and sexy makeovers for little girls. In a misogynistic culture, it's never too early to drill into the minds of girls that what really matters is their appearance and their ability to please men sexually.

    A girl or woman is sexually assaulted every couple of minutes or so in the US. The number of seriously battered wives and girlfriends is far beyond the ability of any agency to count. We're all implicated in this carnage because the relentless violence against women and girls is linked at its core to the wider society's casual willingness to dehumanize women and girls, to see them first and foremost as sexual vessels - objects - and never, ever as the equals of men.

    "Once you dehumanize somebody, everything is possible," said Taina Bien-Aim , executive director of the women's advocacy group Equality Now.

    That was never clearer than in some of the extreme forms of pornography that have spread like nuclear waste across mainstream America. Forget the embarrassed, inhibited raincoat crowd of the old days. Now Mr. Solid Citizen can come home, log on to this $7 billion mega-industry and get his kicks watching real women being beaten and sexually assaulted on Web sites with names like "Ravished Bride" and "Rough Sex - Where Whores Get Owned."

    Then, of course, there's gangsta rap, and the video games where the players themselves get to maul and molest women, the rise of pimp culture (the Academy Award-winning song this year was "It's Hard Out Here for a Pimp"), and on and on.

    You're deluded if you think this is all about fun and games. It's all part of a devastating continuum of misogyny that at its farthest extreme touches down in places like the one-room Amish schoolhouse in normally quiet Nickel Mines, Pa.

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Comments

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Imagine me currently living

Imagine me currently living in the KSA, I can tell you all about it.

Say what you like, but

Say what you like, but thousands of years ago women were the dominant ones in society. The tables turned when it became relatively easy to settle and start living in towns. I'm sorry you don't like the situation and I agree with you in principle that women are equal to men as people - not that each can do specific tasks equally well. Unfortunately there are a lot of stupid and mediocre folk who don't think for themselves and act like sheep and follow the crowd - who are all doing the same thing.

Mike, when? I think women

Mike, when? I think women have always been handicapped by their sex. They put far more at risk when they have sex, they weren't allowed to be financially independent until very recently. When do you believe that women ever held power over men in any society?

We as a society have gone so

We as a society have gone so far over the edge it's not funny. Not only have we still not overcome the mentality of women being less worthy than men - we still prosecute the victim of rape as much as the accused. Every thing in today's society is disposable, from tvs and cars to marriages and jobs. If you don't like it, quit it and get another. Yes, there are a lot of stupid mediocre folk who don't think for themselves and act like sheep and they've been desensitized to the carnage that has become a way of life today. Why should you or I try to make a difference if no one else has tried it yet?

Just like car-jackings on

Just like car-jackings on the news, the spread of brutality is helped by main-stream media. If we spend our time dwelling on the negative, we get it. I know many empowered, and powerful women who not only defend themselves and their daughters (and sons) against the mysogynist teachings of the media, they fight against it. By ignoring the facts of the world we lose, but by dwelling on the negative we lose too. Let's celebrate the victories we have won. Let's plan the battles yet ahead, and celebrate the victories of those too.

Women have allowed

Women have allowed themselves to fall into this pit, and women have to get themselves out of it. Militant feminism is probably the worst thing we can do for ourselves right now, though, so we've got to be careful.

Yes, they have allowed

Yes, they have allowed themselves to fall into this pit. I just got out of a relationship, and I tried to make things equal between me and her. She didn't like that, and dumped me because I acted more like a friend to her. I had previously had no problem with women taking on 'male roles', etc., but there are too many women out there who don't want that.